SONNET: Fourteen Ways of Perceiving My Own Death

FIRST QUATRAIN

LINE ONE

there's a step that this girl takes when she sways

over the sidewalk

where she strides to abandon

the one who lurks behind her.

LINE TWO

when reading a story,

the phrase i I was born...

means that the story will not end well.

LINE THREE

how many times have i dreamed of dying
with her thighs over me
and my body under?

LINE FOUR

whether in a painted urn
or a carelessly-dug plot,
or even under a pile of fallen rocks,
i wonder where my pale cold body
will finally dwell.

SECOND QUATRAIN

LINE FIVE

when slipping the ring on your finger,
someone in my family will undoubtedly yell
well, he had a good life while it lasted -
am i right?

LINE SIX

i often think about a blaze of glory -
then i realize that i am afraid of fire.

LINE SEVEN

i have too often had those
i'm-going-to-die-right-now moments;
and then i wake up for the third time
that night.

LINE EIGHT

i am a crownless king:
my enemy will plunge a dagger
to steal my power away
and in doing so he will kiss my cheek
and lovingly call my "sire."

THIRD QUATRAIN

LINE NINE

my love will open the letter
from the soldiers and weep
because hers will not be coming home
on this or any other night.

LINE TEN

my son (god bless him)
wonders what i will leave him
after i die
(besides another shitty poem
like this).

LINE ELEVEN

there are monsters under the bed,
but i like to think that they are there
just to keep me in check in my fright.

LINE TWELVE

i was born in winter's frigid death -
i at least deserve to die in summer's humid bliss.

FINAL COUPLET

LINE THIRTEEN

i supposed it's the luck of the draw
that keeps me walking here
for now, for years to come.

LINE FOURTEEN

someone once asked me
how do you think you will die?
why, i have many ways, my good man;
let me tell you some!