if a duck ever walked into my store
i would tell him that margarine is worse than butter
and that his cousin the turkey
needs to be himself
as a frog hops toward me
i remind him that he can never block
the fire exit because of beams of light
that sound like car horns
in the South they disregard vowels
and no one knows how to abbreviate
Arkansas—Eddy said that
one can stop mailing to collect stamps
when a king stops over he will lie in bed
and dream of a game of tennis
played with potatoes, baked
while we went to the Bahamas
acide opened up the belt
left the belt loops as a hero
who needed to turn their music down
on Sierra Bonita
don't buy candle holders—buy cakes
and don't let paper get in the way
of you and you
correctly-filed donut
be saved by the buoyancy of citrus
because if fish could scream
you would never want to fall
from the steamboat you rarely drive
when Reese comes make sure
he gets the bar back because
before he built the bottom flap
they were hard times
Wendy is weird—she was never paid
to eat cantaloupe while getting bumped
by Madonna, who can't help
but look slightly to the left
it's bad to argue in a tent
because it's up to you
how many rooms you have
in your house
i wish i had my own pizza place
so i could put a Ritz
on top of a Ritz—i could wrap it twice
and add another step between me and toast
i shop with a pen
so i can draw a deformed turkey—
you misheard me
but i'll take my eggs scrambled
only wear v-necks—your neck
is sensitive: the necklace is there
to remind you when
you're upside down
do you believe in Gosh?
i believe in BOB—get the fuck away.
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