is never enough to clear my mind
last night you and i fucked
two-and-a-half times
(the last one, i wanted to just
lie there inside you, but you
wouldn't take "i love you"
for an answer)
you told me i could be careful
but careful is something that i
just don't do
so i put one on
there is nothing but well-done burgers
and warm beer here at the rented lake house
where my cousins and i celebrate
July 4th
last night i slammed my glass
on the counter - the burning of
my good friend José down my parched
throat - you gently placed
four
of your own
on the counter
the neighbor's dogs run after
the kids on our side of the beach -
giant vulgar German Shepherds
your dog was barking when i kissed you
he thought my leg
was his own
we closed the door
so that he could not share
our love
this lake does not have a bed
but a sofa instead -
leather, i keep slipping
under the blanket i stole
from my cousin's back seat
your bed had a canopy -
something stolen from India
in your mother's trip abroad
to help the orphans -
it jingled from the gold
chains hanging from the posts
and the orange-red curtain
kept the sun out
for a few more hours at least
the kids go inside
because the neighbors want to smoke
while they watch the fireworks
and God forbid a kid knows
what a cigarette is
before they know to hate them
you took out the battery
from the smoke detector
and took out the bag
and the pipe
from the jewelry box
that your father bought you
at the Art Fair -
he knew what you kept in it
but he didn't live there anymore
so it didn't matter
when i awake from my
almost slumber
my cousins force
eggs and sausage and
tortillas down my throat
you inhaled and i inhaled
coughing
you looked away and grabbed
my cheeks, leaned in
to kiss me
and from under my lips
i felt the smoke in my mouth
and i just leaned back
laughing
like you were laughing
the car ride back
to the city
is quiet:
the kids were asleep
and i can't tell you anything
about the night before
we awoke
the smell of liquor and smoke
over our breath
the smell of love
over our bodies, especially yours
the shower was warm
your skin shivered
as i took control of the water
we were silent the whole time
until i caught the bus
home
i called my cousin
the next day
told him
i had a rough night
and a day by the lakeside
would clear my mind
No comments:
Post a Comment