FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO REJECT MY POEMS [Part VIII]

VIII
I am i

Eliot told me that to be personal
was to bleed on a page;
to make a poem an entrapping for
those who wish to steal away from itall

Fritz told me to never assume
that the "I" is one
because when you assume,
the one gets stared at in awe

Gillian told me that to be personal
was the ultimate form -
but to be the "I"
is something we cannot risk

Lolita told me that to be personal
was more than okay
and she will ask me how or why
a poem came to be an "i"

so now i will say it

i remember once i drew elephants

on my love's back

i told her "this one is you

and this one is me"

i am not an elephant

and nor is she

but i am an elephant

and so is she:

someone told me once

that elephants are the only creatures

(other than man)

that can feel love of some kind

so maybe we are elephants

because we can feel love

of some kind

but we are not elephants

if i were an elephant

an elephant would be "i"

I am i

whenever a solitary i is present

remember that a solitary me

is on that page

For Eliot:

let my i be your escape

think that you want to live

this life that i see

through rose-colored eyes,

drenched in sunlight

and bathed in moonlight

where i can once again love

For Fritz: you were told never to assume

because when you assume

the poet gets jammed into

a life you want him to live

but don't you want me to live this life?

the live of love and beauty?

a life of incurable wonder?

a life where i can look down at children's

smiling face and smile myself?

i want to live that life

i

want to live

that life

For Gilian: remember when you told me

that Plath couldn't be Plath on that page

even though there is proof that Plath is that Plath

on that page?

i will give you all of the proof that i can

that i

am the i

on that page

For Lolita: why I am i

is because i

am such

a small thing

but a small thing

with such large great wishings

dreamings, lovings,

and things desired

when you reject my poems,

you are rejecting i

i

will be good

i

will remain

i

will conquer

i

will be the one you look to when the darkness comes

and you need a little light

and all

i

can tell you

is that i

am i