I've spent the entire day in the hospital waiting for my sister to give birth to my first niece, Isabella. With that, I spent the majority of the day looking for a song that would best describe what I want my niece's life to be. I had a song with Israel, my second nephew and Isabella's older brother. For him, I chose "Electrolite" by R.E.M., which became a sort of a lullaby that I would sing for him. The song was a farewell to the Twentieth Century, as Israel was a goodbye to all of the silly notions of mine that I would be a childless bachelor for my entire life.
But with Isabella I've had a deeper connection since she was in utero. She is my first niece, the only female that I will be partially responsible for raising. With her, I also have a connection to love, a connection to something deeper that I hoped (and still do) will last forever. With that, there are dreams, there are notions, there are expectations that I have with my bond with this little girl with curly black hair like her mother's.
I finally settled on a song that describes what I wish to say to her:
"Rockets" by Cat Power.
You can listen to the song here.
Here are the lyrics:
Where do the dreams of babies go
'Cause you know they're all so good
And they're also gone so fast
Keep all your guns at home
Help keep your momma safe
'Cause you know she's pretty good too
Where is the night so warm and so strange
That no one is afraid of themselves
Pick, pick up, dig, dig out those weeds
Out of your happy-go-lucky fields of such polluted thinking
Where do the rockets find planets
Where do the rockets find planets
Where do the rockets find planets
Where are the dreams of the babies going
'Cause you know they're all going fast
Take, take as much as you can
'Cause you know it's going so fast
You know it's so good.
Where are the many mountains so brave
That they do not explode over everyone
Pick, pick up, dig, dig out those weeds
Out of your happy-go-lucky field
Of such polluted thinking
Where do the rockets find planets
Where do the rockets find planets
Keep your guns at home
Keep your guns at home
Help keep your momma safe
You know she's all good
She's pretty good
Where are the dreams of babies going
'Cause you know they're all good
Why did I pick this song?
First off, the first line is a simple cry of innocence. I ask Isabella where her dreams go because they should never leave her sights: they should always be with her.
The line keep all your guns at home reminds her to keep her agressions and frustrations at bay, to only fight with her mind and her heart.
The lines help keep your momma safe is pretty self-explanitory: I ask her to keep her mother (my sister) safe and secure. A big responsibility for such a little being.
The line about gardens and weeds and the ones following are my plea to make sure she removes the pollutions, the dampers on her dreams. I will not let her happy-go-lucky sense be taken from her, even though it may be polluted enough to hide the cruelty of the world from her.
The line about mountains serves to have her ask where are the wonders, the mountains, where she can dream, where she can find something for herself.
And it goes on and on.
This is the song I have chosen for my niece. Isabella, let this speak to you, for I cannot ever speak to you in such a wonderful and sweetly manner.
Welcome to the world. May you never let beauty—especially that in your dreams—willingly (or unwillingly) die.
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